st louis
upon hearing of ahouston's plans to head west and seek a job that will afford him time to enjoy the sun and surf, i realize that the time has come to take my leave of him. my perception that ahouston had the makings of an agent of change was incorrect. he does not view the, yes, revolution in terms of change being inherently beneficial in and of itself; he seems to view it as a vehicle towards providing some opportunity for profit and excitement. when humanity is pitted against destructive and debilitative forces, it is vitalized by resistance. at the moment this pressure is relaxed, society is infected by lethargy and entropy.
for ah and those like him, civilization is the ability to sit and grow fat on a throne, dreaming up philosophies and arts. is the mark of civilization the ability to rephrase a rediscovery in a thousand different words or to paste the latest flavour of skin onto a home? admittedly, working for a living does not allow time for idle fantasies such as these; however, the theocracies of the midwest and the suicieties of asia arose from the thoughts of such idle men.
i fear that most of the insecure fucks who populate this sandy plain are acolytes of the same doctrine, if it deserves such a title, as ah. they are so afeared of uncertainty that they are automatically drawn to any semblance of routine - they build it where there is none. a case in point: ahouston was extolling the virtues of a housing development (of all things!), called broom, out in oklahoma someplace.
a slackening of the tension is a weakening of progress; the schedule of the routine might be altered, but the same filthy burden is wrapped around the neck of humanity.
therefore, i separate from ahouston in saint louis, a city surprisingly untouched by time; the boutiques and diners appear much as they did when my lover and i passed through in the late 1990's. it is not clear if any of the zombis who lurch though the streets are even aware that the nations which surround them are belligerently eyeing stlou's access to the river.
ahouston presumably will find wealth and pleasure in the green fields of the west; meanwhile, i will travel north to canada or the lakes and seek a passage back east - to manhattanville.
clive will help ah to west. purchase passage on night skiff north towards duluth. spend waiting time on river brothel + enjoying chinese buffet.
